The Wife I'll Never Have

I recently was forwarded a link a page called "To My Husband". I wasn't sure why this link should be forwarded to me as, being a heterosexual male, I am not looking for a husband. Once I read through all the entries, however, I found why someone would forward this to me. It is very heartwarming and highly entertaining. The site is a tumblr page, filled with random quotes to the speaker's "Future Husband. Each quote is a statement that sets a guideline for how the husband and wife will treat each other through their marriage. I suppose it's a set of rules that the Husband should adhere to, but all of them are lessons on how to have a successful marriage.  By all intents and purposes, it sounds like the woman speaking to her "future husband" is, quite possibly, the most amazing woman on the planet. She is funny, smart, witty, and realistic about the more mundane aspects of married life. I fell in love immediately.

Here is an example for the rule on name calling:

"No name calling during fights, unless the names are hilarious enough to distract us from the reason we’re fighting in the first place.  Suggestions:  Thundercunt or Cockmonger."

     After looking in to this page a little more it became apparent that the quotes were, in fact, from many different women and applied to the page. This was a little disappointing, but if there is at least one women out there who holds true to this pages tenants, then I would like to meet her.  I think we would get along famously.

Costume Attack

One of the best times of year for me is Halloween. To me, a costume party is the best kind of party. I know it isn't anywhere near Halloween right now but I thought this blog would be a good place to share some of the costumes I have made and worn in the past.

Lets start with a costume I made that, though wasn't for Halloween,  was pretty awesome and deserves to shared.

A long time ago, in the year 2004, a group of friends and I decided to stage an event called "BoxFight" where we created robo-costumes out of card board to battle each other with. It was good fun. There were a lot off politically driven box costumes there that we pit against each other, but the grande finally was something special.

Myself and 3 others made 4 very special costumes.
 A friend and I chose to be to be Airplanes, while 2 other friends chose to become Twin Towers.
We then re-enacted history.

Let the terror begin.

Planes and Towers collide

 And Just like on that historic day, no one won.



That year for Halloween I took a few months to grow my hair so that I could style it in a very recognizable hair style. That was the year I went as Wolverine. Not dressed in super hero attire but in the cost friendly street clothed "Logan" costume.


All it took was some jeans, a mock bomber jacket, a plaid shirt, and some claws fashioned out of coat hangers, some card board, and silver chrome paint.  The hair was styled with the use of knox gelatin and a hair dryer.

All in all I really enjoyed that costume a lot.



Cue the next year, where I used...

1. A red long sleeved shirt.
2. A hat bought at Sears. ( I painted it later with model paint)
3. A pair of blue oilfeild overalls.
4. 2 yellow cardboard circles which I cut out of a Panago Pizza box and glued to the overalls.
5. Black crape hair and some spirit gum to create the mustache.
6. A pair of white gloves
7. A pair of brown shoes.

....to become Mario.


Another year later was the aforementioned "Road Warrior" Halloween. Where some friends and I used old sports equipment, fur, old clothes, face paint and chains to create that wonderful Mad Max style.

I was the guy in the red face paint.

There were a couple of shitty Halloween costumes between then and 2008 that I don't really wish to share.

By 2008, though, we were back in the halloween groove, and a group of friends and I put a lot of work, effort and money in to fashioning and sewing together some of the best Halloween costumes I have ever seen. Mine was done with a lot of help from a friend (Alecia) and I think it turned out wonderfully.
We went as some DC comics superheroes.

(from left to right) Martian Manhunter (Kalvin), Wonder Woman (Nelle), The Question (Brent), The Huntress (Alecia), Lobo (James), Captain Marvel (myself)

The tights were fun but they made my ass look like a red tomato.

And finally in 2009 we ordered in some costumes, as we new from the previous year how hard and stressful sewing group costumes could be. There was still some sewing, and constructing, and hair dyeing involved, but it was a lot less work when we ordered the shirts off of Ebay.

The costumes? Star trek.

Bones (Brent), Medic (Amber), Kirk (Cory) Yeoman (Nelle), Spock (Kalvin), Orion Slave-Girl (Alecia)

I was finally able to become Captain James T. Kirk, whom I have always felt a great kinship with.

That's it. I have yet to develop my pictures from Halloween 2010, but when I do, I'llpost them to the blog.

Friday night is for dancing.

    I also know it's a Friday.  That being said, I thought I would share the music that will get me amped up for a night on the town. I need a pick me-up and a reminder of that things aren't always that bad. Given the stresses of every day life, I'm betting at least some of you need that kind of release as well. What better way to release tension than to dance a bit? Get warmed up at home before you hit the town tonight. I have created a handy list (with links included) for some songs that will get you shaking and warmed up for that Friday night on the town.


Now Dance.

•  Here is a little song to remind you of how "pimp" you are.
  

 Hustler- by Simian Mobile Disco

• This song will get you dancing in the slight disco groove.

   D.A.N.C.E.- Justice

• You're cool, my friend. Use this song to remind yourself of that.

DVNO- Justice (again)

•  Let Us listen to Frankie Valli to get the classic jam in our souls.

Beggin- Frankie Valli

• Should your mission be to find a woman tonight, brush up your dance skills with this song.

Night by Night- Chromeo

• Should your mission be to forget a lady and move on, you can go with this one.   

Fuck You- Cee Lo Green

• If you are on your way to meet a girl who is rocking your world currently, I recommend getting yourself going with this classic

You Dropped a Bomb on Me- The Gap Band




Seven songs to amp up the evening.  Now quit looking at this blog and go dance-party your ass off.